I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
