just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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