That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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