im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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