Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments