i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
