respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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