guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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