it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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