Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize