We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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