4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
