There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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