why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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