So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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