Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
