definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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