I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
