So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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