I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
