sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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