Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
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All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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