sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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