i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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