so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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