You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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