my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
