he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
