Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
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