clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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