I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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