My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
