Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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