I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
