I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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