Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
