yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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