I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
