She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
