I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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