First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
