Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize