so that wasnt chicken after all
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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