I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize