yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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