i don't like sucking hair
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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