There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
