so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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