I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
