Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
then he tried to convert me to islam
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I woke up under a house in Key West
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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