After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
