We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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