I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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