They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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