I wish I could punch you in the face.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
