Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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