i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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